Have you ever felt like screaming… shouting from the top of your lungs just knowing that you are not being heard? I have. I used to spend nights in conversations with my husband that would eventually lead to me exhaustion, tears and an eventual outcry of “Why can’t you just hear me!”

It never got me anywhere. Frustrated maybe, but he still didn’t get what I was saying or truly hearing me the way I wanted him to. And honestly, it wasn’t entirely his fault. What I didn’t realize was that he literally couldn’t hear me through the static that my energy was communicating. Sound crazy? Let me explain.

You are communicating through your subconscious mind rather than the words you are speaking all the time.

Did you know that?

It can be incredibly frustrating to communicate with words when your energy is shouting something different. And your energy is simply letting the universe know what your subconscious believes. Ever known love to be critical, judgmental or simply something to be earned through good works?

Think about it, what did it look like to be loved as a child and be honest here? Without excusing the past, allow the truth to step forward.

How did I uncover this for me?

Well, it didn’t come to me through my relationship with my husband. That was simply too close to see. It was a woman that I worked with who was just a bully. She was crass and rude, demeaning to my staff and it bothered me. So, I sat and started looking at why it bothered me so much and when I started asking questions, the truth revealed itself.

Prior to my experience in working with her I had a senior executive in the company do much the same. He was disrespectful, combative and demeaning. In that instance I was the focus on the “abuse” and allowed it to continue out of protection of those around me, my staff. I was under the impression that they loved him and valued them more than myself. That was until the day I walked out of one of our famed meetings and saw the look on my assistant’s face, they knew what I’d been hiding and it needed to change.

My husband was critical, my mom was critical and as I looked at the similarities in these situations I had to ask myself… why do I keep calling people like this into my life? What am I supposed to be learning here?

These are the types of questions that lead us to uncover what the energy is communicating and what the subconscious mind believes.

We have to question the past, understand why we continue creating situations and learn our lessons so we can release the trend. Ever wonder why you keep getting into the same type of relationship? Look at the trend… where did it begin?

For me, it started as a child and the way I misinterpreted love. What I had learned from my parents and had seen as a child.

Then what is true love? True love isn’t critical or judgmental.

True love allows you to speak up for yourself and stand in your truth.

The beauty in uncovering the past and learning lessons is how you shift the present and future you are creating.

Within two weeks of me working through these situations, the woman who was a bully at my office put in her two weeks notice on her own accord. My husband started to shift his behavior and my relationship with my mom has transformed over time too.

People ask me, “how does that happen?

It was my energy.

All of the sudden my energy shifted and started communicating something different. I could say the words and now they were heard. The energy we have within us and the way we love ourselves are going to be reflected back to us by the people we surround ourselves with.

Is it possible to shift and change relationships as you shift and change you? Quite honestly, that’s the only way to do it.

If you need support on this journey with a coworker, a spouse or partner, a friend… sometimes it takes someone who will walk right beside you. This is why I do what I do.

If you’re ready to explore what transformation can feel like for your own life